Freddy Kreuger

Yesterday I spent two hours cleaning the oven, and then later I burnt my hand on it. My hand now resembles Freddy Kreuger's face, so THANKS A LOT OVEN, LAST TIME I BOTHER TO CLEAN YOU. Ungrateful bitch.

The house is now, I am pleased to say, flea free. It would be quite a pleasant place to live if it wasn't for the fact that we possibly now have termites. Get rid of one species of evil little biting beasts, gain a new one, that has always been my motto.

At least our female Bearded Dragon hasn't laid eggs yet; the search for an incubator has so far been fruitless. As I speak my chihuahua is attempting to sit on my lap, he is an incredibly intelligent and manipulative little dog and knows it is bath time soon, so is therefore attempting to butter me up. He may bring me one of his toys in a minute and look up at me with his big, sad eyes. Luckily I am immune to his ways, as Boyfriend and I have come home to a bed sodden with urine due to him having a tantrum for being left on his own. He knows how to cut deep.

He has a weird compulsion with hiding things in his bed and I'm not sure if that's normal. He fills his little bed with whatever he finds lying around, as well as both his and the cats' toys until it gets ridiculous and we have to empty it so he can still fit inside. The other month we found 5 or 6 bottle tops, 3 of the cats' leopard print mice, his frog toy, a terrifying witch figure from Halloween, a couple of socks, a hacky sack and some of my earrings, amongst other things. One of our cats tried to play with a leopard print mouse the other day, and gingerly took it out of his bed, but he was not having any of it. He chased her and took the mouse back into his bed. That's the other weird thing, he can't stand his 'treasures' being out of his bed. If we try to throw one of his toys for him, he'll fetch it, then put it straight back into his bed. Boyfriend and I took everything out of it and threw it all over the place the other day, just for shits and giggles, and it was hilarious; the dog went insane. I've never seen anything move so fast, trying to get it all back in his bed before it got contaminated with outside air.

I am off to do some baking for Best Friend #1's arrival tomorrow. I wonder if it's safe/sanitary to bake with a Freddy Kreuger hand? Probably not, but the Burn-eze might get into the mixture and add an extra kick. If that's the case, I might be let off the Tequila shots.