Recently I have swapped green tea for mint tea, and Lucky Strikes for Camel. My early morning ritual is completely different, and surprisingly it wasn't too painful to change.

Change is on my mind a lot recently. If the slightest person or thing shifted a couple of years ago I would go insane. My total need for control over keeping things the same is what severed what few ties of friendship Ex Best Friend #1 and I had. I think it got ugly when I phsyically attempted to stop him moving from our house. Bad times. Recently though, I've been embracing change. My friendship with Righteous Because of my Boyfriend Friend has been slowly fading into obscurity, and it hasn't really upset me. One of those reasons is because a girl I have known for a while has recently become a much more important part of my life and will henceforth be known as Scarily Alike Friend. Scarily Alike Friend is currently travelling around and will be coming to stay with Boyfriend and I very soon, something which is making me extremely happy, and not so bothered when my green tea turned out to be minty.

Best Friend #1 will be here to stay on Saturday, so Boyfriend and I have been madly cleaning the house, only to discover the spare room was completely teeming with fleas. That was off the richter scale of fun, as our animals are de-flead to an obsessive point, which meant they have been coming in off the streets again (in the summer you cannot walk down our street without emerging with what appears to be fetching knee length socks, but is actually hundreds of tiny parasites sucking on your blood). So we had to wash EVERYTHING in there, and jay's fluid the shit out of it. Luckily we're finally back on track, and I baked my special jam cookies for Boyfriend last night so he could eat his feelings when he found out he was not needed at work today. Boyfriend LOVES to eat his feelings, you wouldn't think it to look at him though. So, anyway, the house is nearly ready for Best Friend #1 to stay, although knowing him he will not even notice my careful dusting and shining, he will probably just make me drink tequila. Tequila and I are not on speaking terms, but we make the effort when Best Friend #1 is around. There's no need to drag him into the quarrel.

Best Friend #1 will be here for five days, and on the fifth I will join him on a plane back to my homeland for Female Best Friend's wedding, where I am her witness. She has also asked me to do a reading which I am so honoured to do, and so happy to be involved in her big day, the only fear I have is looking out into the crowd whilst reading and seeing the three exes who really really hate me glaring right back at me. Best Friend #2 who I will be staying with, has promised we can sneak in a hip flask, to help me act calmly and not get into a war of words or other with the exes. I suppose you have to face your demons some time, it's just all at once seems a bit excessive, even with the negative Karma I have racked up over the years. After the wedding, Best Friend #2 and I will spend some quality time together; we lived together for a long time, so it's weird having to snatch snippets of time with him, but at least I get to see him at all. He also enjoys reading about films and comics as much as me, if not more, so I can indulge in that without everyone around me thinking I need to be committed.

Once I return from the Motherland, Scarily Alike Friend will be here for a visit, where hopefully I won't be asked to act nicely to Tequila again. I am really looking forward to seeing her, I think my mother is already lining her up to be Daughter point two. She does this often, she refers to Best Friend #2 as 'her son', and also tried to adopt Sarcastic But Deep Down he's Sweet Friend the first time she met him too. She is like a scientist off his lithium, disappointed in what she created, so always trying to find the ultimate kid of my age to pass off as me. I don't find it offensive, I personally think she's very smart keeping her options open.

In other news, after having had our bearded dragons for two years, it has suddenly become apparent one is in fact, a male. Funny story; we asked the lizard shop for a boy and girl, but some woman so up on her high horse she could barely see us gave us a massive lecture about how you could only have two females together blah blah blah and did a big deal of sexing them in front of us. Have any of you seen Bearded Dragons mate? The first time I did I nearly had a heart attack. I was yelling at Boyfriend to get them apart, thinking one was attacking the other, until slowly, slowly, it dawned on me. So the first time our male built up the courage to get sexy, I totally ruined the mood and his self-esteem, and I don't think they do lizard sex therapy. We're now looking into incubators, just in case, so that is money we DEFINITELY have. Because the last of our money didn't pay for our bills at all, that would be silly, and mean we are terrible at financing.

Which we are.